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The ’90s had giant, Joan Osbourne-esque nose hoops and, of course, belly buttons. Oh, dear Goddess, someone please burn our yearbooks.The early aughts had eyebrow piercings—specifically, curved barbells. THE SIMPLE LIFEThere was nothing real about this fish-out-of-water experiment premiering in the heart of reality TV mania, but who cares?Basically, instead of using their door-side (left) arm, they reach over with their other (right) arm.

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In the meantime, there may be another path toward curbing this danger.

REALLY BIG SKATE SHOESEtnies and DC skate sneakers were the official shoes of mall rats everywhere. MSN MESSENGERAfter there was ICQ and before there was Gchat, there was MSN Messenger, or MSN for short.

They were clunky, they were puffy, and your laces were essentially untied and tucked into your shoes—yet we were all somehow duped into thinking they were both practical and cool. TRIPLE FIVE SOULThere was an internal argument whether 555 Soul (or Triple 5 Soul) peaked in the ’90s or the ’00s. It was the last true messaging service before Steve Jobs made your cell phone a messaging service, and it was glorious.

Two privileged Beverly Hills brats basically parachuted into rural Arkansas is the stuff sitcoms are made from, and this show was essentially that.

It turned Nicole Ritchie into a star—not a bad thing—and made Paris Hilton kind of likeable—basically an impossible thing.

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